Caution jokes. If you have no sense of humor please don’t read. I find I need to post this warning because

by admin on February 9, 2010

some people don’t know where they are and think the comments are serious and then tell me to go f**k myself.

THE FRENCH:

Take caution if they ever enter your place.
For the French are a most unusual race.
They eat snails for supper
and never say grace,
They fight with their feet,
and f*ck with their face.

Famous Last Words
"They couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn from th…"
( A confederate general said to one of his officers as he watched the union army set their cannons up too far away. He didn’t get to finish because a union cannonball took his head off. )
I’ll get a world record for this.
Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press.
Hey there’s no handles inside these car doors!
Gee, that’s a cute tattoo.
Here’s my Kent State student ID.
It’s fireproof.
He’s probably just hibernating.
What does this button do?
I’m making a citizen’s arrest.
Can we get a vision plan?
So, you’re a cannibal.
It’s probably just a rash.
Why am I standing on a plastic sheet?
Are you sure the power is off?
Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?
No, my shoes aren’t untied.
The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!
What do you mean, "I’ll be back"?
Why is the rest of the Star Trek landing party wearing a different color?
Pull the pin and count to what?
Which wire was I supposed to cut?
I wonder where the mother bear is.
Where did all those F#*@king indians come from?
I’ve seen this done on TV.
These are the good kind of mushrooms.
I’ll hold it and you light the fuse.
What’s that priest doing here?
Hi O. J., I’m here to see your ex-wife
Only an idiot would ski into a tree.
Let it down slowly.
Rat poison only kills rats.
OK, I’ll go ahead and make your day.
It can’t possibly rain for forty days and nights.
I’ll get your toast out.
Give me liberty or give me death.
Just take whatever you want, this is a ghost town.
The FBI just came over the ridge.
It’s strong enough for both of us.
This doesn’t taste right.
I can make this light before it changes.
Nice doggie.
I can do that with my eyes closed.
I’ve done this before.
This kool-aid tastes funny.
Well we’ve made it this far.
That’s odd.
Hey that’s not a violin.
I’ll just slip into the commuter lane for a second.
I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.
You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses on, would you?
OK this is the last time.
Don’t be so superstitious.
Now watch this.
This planet has an atmosphere just like on earth.
That birthmark on your head looks like 999.
What duck?
apparently TMLLeaf fan doesn’t realize he has no sense of humor. And doesn’t understand warnings. Must be French
Ps there’s a thing called cut and paste

I was reminded of a lot of happenings from years ago; Kent State, Guyana & Jim Jones, that big red button somewhere that will annihilate us, Oz, FBI and Waco + Ruby Ridge, just from reading this list. Too many to name.
You are a very intelligent person.
Kudos for posting this.
Now you have triggered memories that will make me ponder for a while.

You have a nice evening/morning.

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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

mustanglady February 10, 2010 at 3:22 am

Didn’t even read it!! You must be bored!!!
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tiny_dancer February 10, 2010 at 3:58 am

hahahaa. lmao. i didn’t have time to read them all, but the ones i did were great! :D thanks for the jokes maaan!
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police February 10, 2010 at 4:03 am

Don’t go f**k yourself, lol
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spudster February 10, 2010 at 4:11 am

you are a strange little man!
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TMLeaf Fan February 10, 2010 at 4:21 am

I didn’t read the rest after reading the ignorant ‘french" comments. There is a line between a joke and just plain stupidity and you have crossed that line. I like a good joke as much as the next person, but offensive jokes like your first one are inexcusable, intolerable and moronic.

Edit: I have a great sense of humour. I just have no tolerance for ignorance either.
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daniroo February 10, 2010 at 4:58 am

lol funny
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Free d February 10, 2010 at 5:10 am

Good one!
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Shyguy February 10, 2010 at 5:17 am

How many people that responded just said they laughed, but never read this and just reponded to get the points.
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Bella Donna February 10, 2010 at 5:35 am

OMG you’re back. Do you have nothing else to do and No I didn’t read your crap.
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Pd February 10, 2010 at 5:55 am

Wasn’t knowing these much about french people!!
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Rammy February 10, 2010 at 6:13 am

:D He!He! Ha!Ha!Very good!
I,m sleepy now…
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T J February 10, 2010 at 7:02 am

wow…that’s a lot of stuff
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sholii February 10, 2010 at 7:28 am

u r one very funny person…..NOT
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Miiawww February 10, 2010 at 8:17 am

Simple and short makes the best jokes. Try that next time.
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lizzylubinski February 10, 2010 at 8:39 am

Are you sure the power is off?

LMAO, I asked my husband this just the other day……..then I had to beat him off the ceiling fan with a broom stick.

Thanks for the laugh…….
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Willy February 10, 2010 at 9:08 am

Ha-ha-ha! These were funny just what I needed this morning thanks! And some people on here think YA is a cure for hemorrhoids! It depends where they are, how deep & stuff, and how long they been sitting on their back-end!

http://www.willyblues.com/
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jason February 10, 2010 at 9:28 am

too long to be read
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jfmm February 10, 2010 at 9:49 am

I was reminded of a lot of happenings from years ago; Kent State, Guyana & Jim Jones, that big red button somewhere that will annihilate us, Oz, FBI and Waco + Ruby Ridge, just from reading this list. Too many to name.
You are a very intelligent person.
Kudos for posting this.
Now you have triggered memories that will make me ponder for a while.

You have a nice evening/morning.
References :

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