Archive

Posts Tagged ‘Bad Decisions’

Help leaving an abusive husband?

March 27th, 2011 7 comments

First let me say that Ive created this account in case someone out there has an idea I havent thought of. Its humbling to put my story out there, but I need help, so Im asking. The short version is as follows: Im 30 years old, well educated, and a very sweet woman. I lost both of my parents before I was 18 and they were really my only family to speak of. I lived alone, independently for many years until I met my husband, who was a good man, in the beginning. I wouldnt mention this if it was pertinent to the story but he is foreign, it doesnt matter from where, but his nationality has a strong history of treating women poorly. I didnt know a lot about it before I married him and certainly didnt think he would ever treat me badly. I married him 5 years ago and welcomed a baby into the world just over a year ago. Since Ive been married things have gotten worse and worse. He only speaks in his native tongue when his family is over, no one speaks to me at all, all phone calls are private. They make my daughter participate in their cultural traditions(ie: cutting her hair and feeding her food items not approved for infants) against my objection. When I say anything, Im yelled at, pushed out of the way, ignored for days on end, not invited to holidays. Ive been thrown to the ground, pushed and slapped across the face once (breaking my glasses), but never full on hit. Most of my abuse has been verbal – threats, general mistreatment, name calling, yelling, slamming doors, etc. The largest problem is, I feel stuck in a situation I cannot escape from. I lost my job 2 years ago and then suffered a difficult pregnancy (no doubt due to the stress). I began seeking employment after my daughter was 3 months old, but to no avail. I used to hold a high level professional position (I have a college degree), however, in this economy (Michigan)…no one is calling me back. My husbands bad decisions created a situation where we had to file for bankruptcy together (recently), so now I no longer have credit available to me, combined with the failure to find work opportunities, and I have no where to go. If my parents were alive they would certainly help me escape this situation. But I have no one. Regardless, I MUST figure something out for me and my daughter. I need the following (as far as I can tell): a job, a place to live that I can afford, child care (right now shes always with me or my husbands mother), a court order granting me primary custody of our daughter (Id be scared to death to let him take her even on weekends, but Im sure I cannot prevent it). I dont know how to get any of these things without a job. Id divorce him tomorrow if I could (can I hire a lawyer with his money b/c we have a joint bank accnt? what can I do for safety after he finds out I filed? Where would I live? Do I get custody until its all figured out?). He constantly threatens that without a job no judge will grant me any kind of custody of a child because I have nothing to offer her (which I dont, but with me shes safe!) He has had his criminal record wiped clean (all "I know a guy who took care of me" kinda thing) except a drunk driving charge; everyone knows how he is, but no one would dare say anything. Hes a bad man. This situation is getting worse every day. Iam terrified more every day as my daughter gains recognition of daily life, that she will see our life and think this is an acceptable way to be treated. Ive lost my ability to teach her well and offer her a childhood free of stress, yelling and tears. Im in an awful, and as far as I can tell inescapable, situation. Does anyone out there have any real ideas for me? Something has to change and soon…Im was a good person but Im breaking, even my health has suffered terribly. Im nearing 100lbs, Im 5’6", I cant eat b/c Im so nervous all the time. Every day once he goes to work my beautiful daughter and I laugh and play, and as the clock creeps to when he’ll come home I feel my stomach tighten and my nerves are so bad my hands start to shake. I dont have anyone I can tell, everyone I know is a family member or friend of his and they wouldnt think anything of it. This is just how people live in their culture. Plus, Im scared of him, and my home is laced with weapons (not where my girl could reach). My spirit is so broken at this point that I wouldn’t even care if he killed me, but my daughter needs me, Im all she has. She has NO IDEA what an insane life Ive brought her into, and if I can help it, shell never have to know to its full extent. And if I could get away, I could get my life back. I dont deserve this, I have the biggest heart and Ive been taking care of others all my life, but I cant even take care of my own child. What can I do, anyone? Plz do not say call the police . Understand what Ive written, I cant do something radical, and I wont do anything to jeopardize being with my baby, or place us in danger. I need a plan and one I can actua

You could easily get up early tomorrow a.m. & go to your local Family Court. They WILL take care of you by telling you what to do etc. If needs be, there also is a Judge who presides over this court all day every day. This is rite where I’d head as early as I could to make sure you get taken care of tomorrow. I have resorted to using my own local Family Court due to domestic violence so I KNOW they do care, they WILL help you the best they can. You can trust them to take your well being in total concern. I KNOW that’s what I’d do & feel it’s the best for you too….I SO wish you the best, honey. Things will work out for the best for you & the baby. Give them a chance to help you. BTW, I would take a bit of money out of your joint act. Don’t take too much, but DO take some just in case!..:)

Westwood Auto Accident Attorney’s Top Ten Bad Decisions That Cause Auto Accidents

December 19th, 2009 No comments

1.Getting up that morning.

 

2. Going wherever you’re going.

 

3. Not spending more time at home.

 

4. Leaving in a rush.

 

5. Not constantly checking your mirrors for bad drivers.

 

6. Not driving defensively.

 

7. Not anticipating bad decisions by other drivers.

 

8. Not immediately safely braking at the first sign of trouble.

 

9. Tailgating.

 

10. Not giving others room to merge.

Now here are ten useful tips of advice from an auto accident lawyer to follow if you have been in an accident. You can also learn more about how to handle an auto accident in Westwood, or any city, by calling the Law Offices of R. Sebastian Gibson at any of the numbers which can be found on our website at http://www.SebastianGibsonLaw.com  and learning how we can assist you.

 

Obviously, if you have had an accident, and you are reading all of this advice, it may have been a few hours since the accident. However, if you ever have another accident, or if it’s only been a few hours since you were hurt, here’s what you should do from the start.

 

First, take a look around and determine if you or anyone, are hurt. If so, taking steps like trying to prevent further injury or loss of blood are the most important thing you can do. Even if some other driver caused you to be injured, it’s just good manners to help the other driver if they are hurt. They may even be so thankful that they admit their fault to you. The worst thing you can do is get angry or start a fight.

 

Second, make sure everyone is safe from being injured further. If you are in the middle of traffic, and you are dizzy, sit down away from traffic. If your vehicle is a traffic hazard and you have accident warning devices like flares or triangles, put them out on the road to warn other drivers and get away from the car. Let the police an other emergency personnel investigate the scene with the vehicles in place and move them more safely at a later point.

 

Third, call the police. Accident reports are extremely helpful if the police will do such a report. Let the police know you are injured immediately. Answer the police questions honestly. But if you are dazed or confused, let them know you need medical treatment and answer only what you feel sure about. Remember, your statements can and will be used against you if you admit fault, and it will be too late and too fishy to later say you didn’t know what you were saying at the scene. Police know that your best recollection is immediately after an accident.

 

Fourth, get the other driver’s information including their names, addresses, driver’s license numbers, make and model of their vehicles, license plate numbers, and their insurance company name and policy number. If there are witnesses, get their names, addresses and telephone numbers as well. If the other driver makes any admissions of fault, write those down as well.

 

Fifth, if you have a camera on your cell phone or in the car and you aren’t too injured, take some photos of the vehicles and the scene. If you can’t do it right away, do it after you are released from the hospital.

Sixth, if you are hurt, obtain medical treatment. Don’t decline the ambulance or hospital examination to save your insurance company money or to be stoic. Take your valuables out of your car if you can and get checked out at the hospital. If you are not hurt, don’t get treatment you don’t need. However, remember, after an accident, you may feel a rush of adrenaline that causes you to only start feeling symptoms of pain a few hours later. If you have a health plan that requires you to obtain permission first, call them and find out where you are allowed to seek treatment.

 

Seventh, call a good auto accident attorney as soon as you have had your initial treatment, so the lawyer can gather other important evidence and prevent the insurance company from taking advantage of you and obtaining such things as recorded statements that you feel fine, when many of your symptoms have yet to manifest themselves. A good auto accident attorney can save you from making a great deal of mistakes and can shoulder much of the hassle of knowing what to do about car repairs, car rentals, medical treatment, witness statements and the like. If you think you will save money by not having an attorney, think again. A good auto accident lawyer can almost always obtain much higher settlements, obtain reductions of medical bills and insurance liens and prevent you from making costly mistakes. Also, most auto accident lawyers advance costs of obtaining police reports, medical records and the like and are paid and reimbursed for these costs only out of any settlement.

 

Eight, you will need to report the accident to your insurance company, but since they will want to take a recorded statement from you, just like any other driver’s insurance company, it’s good advice to retain an attorney first. And if the other driver did not have insurance, remember that it is your own insurance company that will be your adversary. You will also need to report the accident to the Department of Motor Vehicles and your lawyer can give you the form for this.

 

Ninth, do not agree to settle your claim privately with the person at fault for the accident. This almost never works out to your advantage. Don’t agree not to call the police. Police reports that determine the fault for an accident are golden. Your agreement to not involve the police only affords an opportunity for the other driver to change his story and blame you when the police will no longer investigate the accident.

 

Tenth, don’t pay a traffic ticket without a fight if you weren’t at fault or agree to accept a small payment for your vehicle repairs without knowing that the amount will in fact cover the cost of all the repairs.

 

If you’ve had an auto accident in Westwood, Long Beach, Carson, Century City, Santa Monica, Torrance, Manhattan Beach, Santa Barbara, Ventura, Oxnard, Cambria or San Luis Obispo, or anywhere in Southern California, we have the knowledge and resources to be your Westwood Auto Accident Lawyer and your Santa Monica Auto Accident Attorney. Be sure to hire a California law firm with auto, motorcycle, truck, bicycle, pedestrian, car, bus, train, boat and airplane accident experience, wrongful death experience and insurance law expertise who can ensure you are properly represented and get the compensation you deserve.

 

If you have a personal injury legal matter, a dog bite or if you’ve lost a loved one in a wrongful death accident, call the Law Offices of R. Sebastian Gibson, or visit our website at http://www.SebastianGibsonLaw.com  and learn how we can assist you.

R. Sebastian Gibson
http://www.articlesbase.com/personal-injury-articles/westwood-auto-accident-attorneys-top-ten-bad-decisions-that-cause-auto-accidents-646168.html