Death Records Now

Today’s Joke:

Next time you think you’re having a bad day recall:

1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon
Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony,
two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into
the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later
they were both eaten by a killer whale.

2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to
a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his
reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her
repeatedly with an ax leaving her mentally retarded.

3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the
world flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came
down eight hours short of the 400 day record, his sponsor had
gone bust, his girlfriend had left him and his phone and
electricity had been cut off.

4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking
frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist
towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the
deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the
back door, breaking his arm in two places. Till that moment he
had been happily listening to his Walkman.

5. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of
sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all
two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and
stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

And the capper…….

6. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn’t pay enough postage on a
letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on
it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to
bits.

Here’s hoping your day is better than any of these.

Thanks God I’m having better day then all those.