Death Records Now

Her name is Lillian Tyler, born June 15 1918 in Kings, New York. She married Albert Pacini. Had some kids, two of them died. Only records I found of her were in 1920 when she lived with a huge family (unable to find out which Tyler was her parent after extensive researching…no birth record). No residence record after the 1920 NY record. And the only other two that I found were with her and her husband’s name on it for a death certificate of her two kids in a 5 year period. My aunt Carol (lillian and albert’s daughter) said she left her sibling in 1945 because of her depression from losing two kids. I have been searching everywhere (especially familysearch.com…very helpful) but can not seem to find anything else on her. Why isn’t she documented? Why can’t I find a birth certificate, a marriage certificate, a residence after 1920, anything? I really want to be able to help my aunt find out who her mom was and if she is still alive or not or where she died. If anyone can give me some advice or help me out or explain to me why she seems to disappear after 1920, it would be greatly appreciated. She is such a mystery to everyone in my aunts family and we all want to find out what happened or a little bit more about her. I thought everyone had to participate in the census? Why can’t I find anything else on her?
Thank you for answering! I really need some help.

There’s lots of reasons why you may not find someone in an online resource ranging from they don’t have the helpful record, the name is indexed so poorly it’s not searchable, they moved and you’re looking in the wrong location, the information on the record is wrong, or there’s some fact you don’t know (i.e. she remarried or somehow got listed under a stepfather’s name). It’s likely she is documented, you just can’t find the documents so far. There are some cases where a person is undocumented. Sometimes by choice, sometimes by the cruelties of life (i.e. died a Jane Doe), and often because the documents have been destroyed (i.e. courthouse fires).

You may find it helpful to go ahead and order a birth (& maybe marriage) record direct from the appropriate agency:
http://www.health.state.ny.us/vital_records/
http://www.nyc.gov/html/records/html/about/faq.shtml

I wouldn’t try to order a death record until you can be certain she has died and what name she may have died with (i.e. remarried). Find A Grave may be helpful. There seems to be a couple possibilities with a maiden name Tyler born in 1918. For this site, spelling counts so try multiple variations.