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Posts Tagged ‘Fiance’

Issues With Future Mother-in-law and Home Situation?

September 9th, 2011 5 comments

My future mother-in-law has proven herself to be a serious problem in the past two months. She currently lives with my fiance and myself and has claimed she will be selling a few electronics we own (including a relatively large TV, an Xbox 360, and possibly our computer) using false bills of sale she obtained from my fiance’s sister, a known thief (she’s headed to court on theft charges next week). His sister’s boyfriend is a local police officer, which is the only reason why I’m worried about these "bills of sale" actually being verified.. Somehow. I’m assuming her background will work against her anyway, though.

The TV was obtained free of charge from a man/woman (the story always changes) who was going to throw it out and was my fiance’s birthday gift last year. His mother now claims she never gave it to him and is hers, and that she can "ask (insert name she thinks she "bought" the TV from here) on the phone!" The Xbox 360 I am willing to part with, as it’s difficult to determine who is the legal "owner" of it – my fiance’s friend sold it to HIM, but I’m not sure whose money he used to purchase it..

We currently live in a tiny home that his grandmother rents out and, for some reason, she will not do anything about his mother or his sister. Along with claiming everything is hers, his mother frequently complains that nobody likes her and screams at us that we hate her when we ask her to do something for herself, lives on the computer (she’s a FarmVille addict – to the extreme), insists that she never has money yet supports her smokes-like-a-chimney cigarette habit (her "only income" is food stamps!!), and blames my fiance for "everything that is wrong in her life." She also tells us to do absolutely everything for her, and my fiance complies.. Because anything else would start World War III. She is allowed to stay regardless of her behavior because she is the sole owner of a car that shouldn’t even be running – the only way for us to get to work (my fiance and I are currently at the "we have interviews" stage, however – his grandmother is currently the only one who is working). She is also chummy with the landlord, which I’m guessing is another reason why nothing is being done about her.

My fiance’s sister is a lost cause. She steals all the time, including from us. She finally got caught by an ex-boyfriend’s grandmother and has a blemish on her record. She used to beat me on a regular basis to "toughen me up" – my fiance lives in the south, and I am from Michigan. At first I simply went with it, but the "beating" escalated. A week ago, she punched me in the back and side of the head as hard as she could for saying her insults were getting repetitive, then hopped on Facebook and the phone to gab to her friends about how I deserved to die and saying I was "talking s*** about the family," using it as her excuse to her friends to have punched me. I was going to file a report, but my fiance told me they wouldn’t do anything but record that it happened. I decided it wasn’t worth it, and saved the Facebook messages just in case as well as reporting the messages to Facebook as hate speech. As far as I know, Facebook deleted the messages.

Long story short: My fiance’s mother and sister are insane, nobody will do anything about it, and I desperately want to know what my options are. I have a small amount of cash that may be enough to rent out a room from a family friend for a month, but that’s it (if it’s even agreed to). I want to ask one family friend in particular for help, but I feel it’s too much to be asking for myself AND my fiance to have a place to stay. My fiance also insists that he refuses to go to my home state because he despises my family and thinks his family will let his dogs starve to death. He’s also worried about his grandmother’s health..

Sorry about the long description..

Any help is sincerely appreciated!!
I’ve been able to convince my fiance on a few occasions to get away from their madness and go to Michigan with me, but I haven’t gathered up the courage to actually ASK someone about it. Is my situation bad enough to be able to ask without feeling like a mooch..?

I recommend that you re-read your question to yourself, and knowing all of the other background that goes along with it, ask yourself if this is really what you want for a future life?
The only thing that might have some value here would be the love, support, and commitment from your fiance. But he clearly doesn’t have your interests at heart. A man who truly loves and respects you, will also love and respect all who love you, but this guy despises your family.

I can only guess that you are holding on to some faint hope that things will somehow get better. That your fiance will one day treat you with the love and respect you deserve, and his family will suddenly stop their criminal ways. But you don’t control that.

The only thing you control is you, where you choose to live, and who you choose to spend the rest of your life with. If your fiance’s life doesn’t mesh with what you believe to be right for you, then he isn’t a good choice for a husband, or any kind of a life partner for that matter.

This man has more concern for his dogs, and his grandmother than he does for you.

I hope from that you can figure out a way to permanently separate yourself from all of this trouble. You deserve better.