Death Records Now

ok so heres the scoop. my boyfriend and I have been together 3 1/2 years. We have a 2 year old daughter and we bought a house last april. Since the beginning commitment has always been an issue. I got pregnant 7 months into the relationship while on birth control and he didnt want a child at the time so he asked me to get an abortion. I refused and eventually he was OK with the idea however he said i Trapped him into the relationship by getting pregnant. We have never broken up but there were times where it was an option. We have been to counceling together and i seemed to do nothing but positive for us-which is great! Marriage is something i have always wanted and it went from "i will never marry you, to Maybe one day" I am his first serious relationship and he was always wondering if he was missing out on other women but he never cheated until NOW!. About 1 month ago he went to florida to work and is currently still out there. I found out through my phone records that he was talking to another woman. I confronted him and he admitted to it. They didnt have sex or oral but they kissed and he gave him a hand job. I also talked to the woman and thier stories matched, I have no doubt he was being honest. I was furious and i gave him an ultimatum-Put a ring on my finger by december or i am done and i will do everything in my power to keep you from our daughter. HE TOOK IT. I bought a ring last thursday ($3000) and i am holding it until he returns oct 15th where he is supposed to propose. I am very overwhelmed though. I love him to death but i am sad it took him cheating to take the next step when giving him an ultimatum. I hope he doesnt ever cheat and he says e wont-he even got a tattoo symbolizing our daughter and myself. Could he really have had an ephihany after cheating?Realizing what he had back home and wanting to marry me? Am i crazy for giving him a second chance or can this really work? Was this really what needed to happen in order for him to commit? Please help me and reassure me giving him a second chance was the right thing to do!!! thanks
i should add a couple years ago i kissed a gay guy in front of him while at a gay bar in chicago. He was pretty upset but never broke up with me

I am saying i have not been faithful or an angel the whole time so can i really be upset for what hes done?

also i asked WHY he cheated and he said he was lonely! I don’t buy it for a second i believe an opportunity came up and he took it

Dont get married, Just because he puts a ring on it and signs some papers doesnt mean he will change. If he really wants to change it will take time, he wont change over night.

Dont rush into getting married, wait for a while and make sure he is ready to be a good husband, like I said he wont change over night it will take a while, if you let him slide this time he will think its ok and do it again. Time will tell so, be engaged for now and see how that works out for a while.

I’ve been helping a relative do some research on his family, and wee have a recording someone in his family did where his Grandmother describes having been married 4 different times between 1917-1960. Thing is, we can’t find a single marriage record for the woman. Not in any of the Indiana counties that she lived in during that period, or in St. Louis, MO where she claims on the recording that at least 3 of the marriages took place.

We have located the birth records for the children that she had with the first 2 husbands, (showing they were just barely legitimate) and census records showing her last name as having been changed to the 3rd husband’s name, plus her SS death record where she has husband #4’s last name (plus she’s buried with him)

At the time that the recording was made, I don’t think anyone believed there was any reason to question her version of events, or would have even if they thought of it. Now, many years later it is a matter of curiosity for the family and no one is left alive to really get upset about whether she was telling the truth or not.

My question is this: Is there a likely database or location where these marriage records may be stored that I’m missing? i can understand not being able to find a record of her last marriage, since neither Indiana or Illinois publishes the records for marriages that took place in the 50’s and 60’s. Plus that one some people actually remember seeing take place, so there’s no doubt it occurred. The first three marriages though we ought to be able to find, right? Is this something even worth chasing, or does it sound like maybe the marriages never actually took place?

I’m just trying to make sure that I’m not missing a resource, I’d hate to make a long trip trying to track this down in MO if the woman was simply engaging in a little revisionist’s history while she delivered her memoirs.
Shenaya- sorry, I failed to mention that she gave specific dates for the first two marriages (and divorces) and a year for the 3rd marriage and divorce. Going off of census records, draft cards and city directories in addition to the birth records of the children that she had with husbands 1 and 2, and a picture that was found of husband 3, I am certain she did in fact have relationships with all 3 men. I just haven’t been able to find any marriage records. Husband 1 married someone else shortly after she is supposed to have divorced him, husband 2 was married to someone else briefly a few years before she married him (this is the recollection of a 93 yr old niece of his) but I don’t have anything to tell me whether he was widowed, divorced or separated, and 3 was described as a playboy of sorts, I know he had a wife 3 years prior to when she would have married him, and I can’t be sure a divorce ever took place their either.
Joyce- I’m not used to giving personal info on YA, even when it isn’t mine. Sorry. The people and relevant dates in question are:

Lydia May Nolan
married James B Weir of Fountain Co IN sometime in 1916. Location unknown. Divorced 1-5-1917.
married Horace Sterling Zick of Fountain Co IN on 12-24-1918 in St Louis MO, divorced by 1922
married Thomas Larimore of Pekin, Tazewell, IL sometime in 1922 in St Louis MO, divorced 1923

Yes, I am on ancestry.com I’ve got records on these people out the wazoo, just none to explain whether all the bed hopping was done with the proper paperwork having been filed.
Maxi- actually when i started working on this (for my 3rd cousin) I had absolutely nothing but 2 iffy names and a location. My great aunt sent him to me because he wanted to find out about his father’s family and I am the only person in our family who is both interested in genealogy and familiar with the computer. His whole problem was that that side of his family was never an acceptable topic of conversation while his father was alive. So I started digging and finding records, starting with his dad and then good old grandma, then a birth record, then another birth record for another kid with a different guy. I must have 200 emails back and forth from me finding a record or having an idea and him digging up a piece of information from someone to corroborate it. I have enough records that I can put together a reasonable chronology for everyone involved, but to me, considering the time period, all the brief marriages and quick divorces that were supposedly taking place just in time

If you don’t provide names, all we can do is give generic answers. She could have been playing fast and loose with the truth, or the records simply aren’t online yet. Have you contacted the state vital records office requesting a copy of the marriage certificates? Are you using ancestry.com for your search?

http://health.mo.gov/data/vitalrecords/

First let me say that Ive created this account in case someone out there has an idea I havent thought of. Its humbling to put my story out there, but I need help, so Im asking. The short version is as follows: Im 30 years old, well educated, and a very sweet woman. I lost both of my parents before I was 18 and they were really my only family to speak of. I lived alone, independently for many years until I met my husband, who was a good man, in the beginning. I wouldnt mention this if it was pertinent to the story but he is foreign, it doesnt matter from where, but his nationality has a strong history of treating women poorly. I didnt know a lot about it before I married him and certainly didnt think he would ever treat me badly. I married him 5 years ago and welcomed a baby into the world just over a year ago. Since Ive been married things have gotten worse and worse. He only speaks in his native tongue when his family is over, no one speaks to me at all, all phone calls are private. They make my daughter participate in their cultural traditions(ie: cutting her hair and feeding her food items not approved for infants) against my objection. When I say anything, Im yelled at, pushed out of the way, ignored for days on end, not invited to holidays. Ive been thrown to the ground, pushed and slapped across the face once (breaking my glasses), but never full on hit. Most of my abuse has been verbal – threats, general mistreatment, name calling, yelling, slamming doors, etc. The largest problem is, I feel stuck in a situation I cannot escape from. I lost my job 2 years ago and then suffered a difficult pregnancy (no doubt due to the stress). I began seeking employment after my daughter was 3 months old, but to no avail. I used to hold a high level professional position (I have a college degree), however, in this economy (Michigan)…no one is calling me back. My husbands bad decisions created a situation where we had to file for bankruptcy together (recently), so now I no longer have credit available to me, combined with the failure to find work opportunities, and I have no where to go. If my parents were alive they would certainly help me escape this situation. But I have no one. Regardless, I MUST figure something out for me and my daughter. I need the following (as far as I can tell): a job, a place to live that I can afford, child care (right now shes always with me or my husbands mother), a court order granting me primary custody of our daughter (Id be scared to death to let him take her even on weekends, but Im sure I cannot prevent it). I dont know how to get any of these things without a job. Id divorce him tomorrow if I could (can I hire a lawyer with his money b/c we have a joint bank accnt? what can I do for safety after he finds out I filed? Where would I live? Do I get custody until its all figured out?). He constantly threatens that without a job no judge will grant me any kind of custody of a child because I have nothing to offer her (which I dont, but with me shes safe!) He has had his criminal record wiped clean (all "I know a guy who took care of me" kinda thing) except a drunk driving charge; everyone knows how he is, but no one would dare say anything. Hes a bad man. This situation is getting worse every day. Iam terrified more every day as my daughter gains recognition of daily life, that she will see our life and think this is an acceptable way to be treated. Ive lost my ability to teach her well and offer her a childhood free of stress, yelling and tears. Im in an awful, and as far as I can tell inescapable, situation. Does anyone out there have any real ideas for me? Something has to change and soon…Im was a good person but Im breaking, even my health has suffered terribly. Im nearing 100lbs, Im 5’6", I cant eat b/c Im so nervous all the time. Every day once he goes to work my beautiful daughter and I laugh and play, and as the clock creeps to when he’ll come home I feel my stomach tighten and my nerves are so bad my hands start to shake. I dont have anyone I can tell, everyone I know is a family member or friend of his and they wouldnt think anything of it. This is just how people live in their culture. Plus, Im scared of him, and my home is laced with weapons (not where my girl could reach). My spirit is so broken at this point that I wouldn’t even care if he killed me, but my daughter needs me, Im all she has. She has NO IDEA what an insane life Ive brought her into, and if I can help it, shell never have to know to its full extent. And if I could get away, I could get my life back. I dont deserve this, I have the biggest heart and Ive been taking care of others all my life, but I cant even take care of my own child. What can I do, anyone? Plz do not say call the police . Understand what Ive written, I cant do something radical, and I wont do anything to jeopardize being with my baby, or place us in danger. I need a plan and one I can actua

You could easily get up early tomorrow a.m. & go to your local Family Court. They WILL take care of you by telling you what to do etc. If needs be, there also is a Judge who presides over this court all day every day. This is rite where I’d head as early as I could to make sure you get taken care of tomorrow. I have resorted to using my own local Family Court due to domestic violence so I KNOW they do care, they WILL help you the best they can. You can trust them to take your well being in total concern. I KNOW that’s what I’d do & feel it’s the best for you too….I SO wish you the best, honey. Things will work out for the best for you & the baby. Give them a chance to help you. BTW, I would take a bit of money out of your joint act. Don’t take too much, but DO take some just in case!..:)