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Does he deserve a second chance?Its all bittersweet!?

November 9th, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

ok so heres the scoop. my boyfriend and I have been together 3 1/2 years. We have a 2 year old daughter and we bought a house last april. Since the beginning commitment has always been an issue. I got pregnant 7 months into the relationship while on birth control and he didnt want a child at the time so he asked me to get an abortion. I refused and eventually he was OK with the idea however he said i Trapped him into the relationship by getting pregnant. We have never broken up but there were times where it was an option. We have been to counceling together and i seemed to do nothing but positive for us-which is great! Marriage is something i have always wanted and it went from "i will never marry you, to Maybe one day" I am his first serious relationship and he was always wondering if he was missing out on other women but he never cheated until NOW!. About 1 month ago he went to florida to work and is currently still out there. I found out through my phone records that he was talking to another woman. I confronted him and he admitted to it. They didnt have sex or oral but they kissed and he gave him a hand job. I also talked to the woman and thier stories matched, I have no doubt he was being honest. I was furious and i gave him an ultimatum-Put a ring on my finger by december or i am done and i will do everything in my power to keep you from our daughter. HE TOOK IT. I bought a ring last thursday ($3000) and i am holding it until he returns oct 15th where he is supposed to propose. I am very overwhelmed though. I love him to death but i am sad it took him cheating to take the next step when giving him an ultimatum. I hope he doesnt ever cheat and he says e wont-he even got a tattoo symbolizing our daughter and myself. Could he really have had an ephihany after cheating?Realizing what he had back home and wanting to marry me? Am i crazy for giving him a second chance or can this really work? Was this really what needed to happen in order for him to commit? Please help me and reassure me giving him a second chance was the right thing to do!!! thanks
i should add a couple years ago i kissed a gay guy in front of him while at a gay bar in chicago. He was pretty upset but never broke up with me

I am saying i have not been faithful or an angel the whole time so can i really be upset for what hes done?

also i asked WHY he cheated and he said he was lonely! I don’t buy it for a second i believe an opportunity came up and he took it

Dont get married, Just because he puts a ring on it and signs some papers doesnt mean he will change. If he really wants to change it will take time, he wont change over night.

Dont rush into getting married, wait for a while and make sure he is ready to be a good husband, like I said he wont change over night it will take a while, if you let him slide this time he will think its ok and do it again. Time will tell so, be engaged for now and see how that works out for a while.

  1. ?
    November 9th, 2011 at 09:10 | #1

    your mom
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  2. Scooby
    November 9th, 2011 at 09:53 | #2

    You are in no position to make a judgement yet I think, reading what you are saying. How about taking some time before giving second chances. If he is sincere, time won’t matter.
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  3. sara
    November 9th, 2011 at 10:05 | #3

    just dont get married pls im 20 yo and inside im 60 read one of my latest storry here and pls answer me

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AqY1QoLYIPluWJA4.738ZZXsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20110929114624AApTodf
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  4. Take it or leave it!
    November 9th, 2011 at 10:40 | #4

    If he thought you trapped him by having a child….he will definitely think you are trying to trap him by forcing him to marry you.
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  5. believer
    November 9th, 2011 at 11:13 | #5

    Well lots of wrong things have happened in your relationship. You had the child out of wedlock. He cheats after constantly telling you he will never marry you. Once he gets caught cheating, you tell him you will do everything in your power to keep him from seeing his child. Why he would he even want to marry someone like that is my question. Why would you want your child to pay such an awesome price for both of your mistakes? To not let your child have contact with his father simply because he won’t marry you is unacceptable. Yea I bet he did buy you a ring. He wants sto see his child grow up and be involved in that process. So even if he wrong about you getting pregnant to trap him you are certainly using the child of that pregnancy to trap him now. Who would want to get married under those circumstances? I would say that this marriage will have zero chance of surviving. You two have too many issues before marriage and if you think a $3000 ring is going to solve them or make him be faithful or make him or you or your child happy you are acting like a little school girl. Messed uppppp
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  6. Kitty Star
    November 9th, 2011 at 11:27 | #6

    If this was your daughter asking you, what would you say? I think you need to take the ring back and spend $3000 on your little girl. Dump him, but let him see her every other weekend or whatever the courts decide.
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  7. Angela
    November 9th, 2011 at 11:32 | #7

    every one should have a second chance but not at your cost,can you trust him when the next staff night comes or x,mas party being drunk is not an excuse to behave as he did .but that word love means more than it says such a small word and a huge meaning
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  8. Coco
    November 9th, 2011 at 12:00 | #8

    Dont get married, Just because he puts a ring on it and signs some papers doesnt mean he will change. If he really wants to change it will take time, he wont change over night.

    Dont rush into getting married, wait for a while and make sure he is ready to be a good husband, like I said he wont change over night it will take a while, if you let him slide this time he will think its ok and do it again. Time will tell so, be engaged for now and see how that works out for a while.
    References :

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