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Did Jesus return as Elvis ?

November 9th, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

JESUS was a carpenter. ELVIS’ favorite high school class was wood shop.

JESUS said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39) ELVIS said: "Don’t be cruel." (RCA 1956)

JESUS was part of the Trinity. ELVIS’ very first band was a trio.

JESUS walked on water. (Matthew 14:25). ELVIS surfed on water. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount:1965).

JESUS is the Lord’s Shepherd. ELVIS dated Cybill Shepherd.

JESUS’ entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members. ELVIS’ entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

JESUS fasted 40 days and nights. ELVIS had irregular eating habits (e.g. 5 banana splits for breakfast).

JESUS said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." (John 7:37). ELVIS said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM:1957)

JESUS was first and foremost the Son of God. ELVIS first recorded with Sun Studios, which today are still considered to be his foremost recordings.

JESUS said: "Man shall not live by bread alone." ELVIS liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.

Mary, an important woman in JESUS’ life, had an Immaculate Conception. Priscilla, an important woman in ELVIS’ life, attended Immaculate Conception High School.

JESUS’ "countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow." (Matthew 28:3). ELVIS wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.

JESUS was the lamb of God. ELVIS had mutton chop sideburns.

JESUS’ Father is everywhere. ELVIS’ father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.

Matthew was one of JESUS’ many biographers. (The Gospel According to Matthew) Neil Matthews was one of ELVIS’ many biographers. (Elvis: A Golden Tribute)

JESUS H. CHRIST has 12 letters. ELVIS PRESLEY has 12 letters.

No one knows what the "H" in "JESUS H. Christ" stood for. No one was really sure if ELVIS’ middle name was "Aron" or "Aaron".

JESUS had his famous Resurrection. ELVIS had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.

JESUS wore a crown of thorns. ELVIS wore Royal Crown hair styler.

JESUS lived in a state of grace, in a Near Eastern land. ELVIS lived in Graceland, in a nearly eastern state.

JESUS said, "Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit" (Luke 23:46). ELVIS sang "Return To Sender".

JESUS is often depicted in pictures with a halo that looks like a gold plate. ELVIS’ face is often depicted on a plate with gold trim and sold through TV.

JESUS taught that His followers should love Him. ELVIS sang "Love Me Tender".

After His death, JESUS was seen by over 500 followers. After his death, ELVIS was spotted in a Burger King
Louis P. Wu
I would point out to you that Jesus was never God either .

Thanks for sharing Evil Eye.I can’t stop laughing…

  1. Louis P. Wu
    November 9th, 2011 at 09:14 | #1

    Elvis is The King, not a god.
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  2. Fleshgod
    November 9th, 2011 at 09:29 | #2

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  3. kaganate
    November 9th, 2011 at 10:08 | #3

    Amen Brother!

    Preach on!
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  4. GOV
    November 9th, 2011 at 10:38 | #4

    "After His death, JESUS was seen by over 500 followers."

    And the National Enquirer said Elvis was kidnapped by aliens.

    BTW, Given his weight when he died, how many Roman soldiers do you think it would have taken to hoist Elvis up on a cross?
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  5. Mr.Longrove
    November 9th, 2011 at 10:51 | #5

    Jesus Christ was resurrected as Jesus Christ. When He returns to set up His kingdom, all these stupid jokes will cease, you can believe that.

    Now I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse. And He who sat on him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war. His eyes were like a flame of fire, and on His head were many crowns. He had a name written that no one knew except Himself. He was clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God. And the armies in heaven, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, followed Him on white horses. Now out of His mouth goes a sharp sword, that with it He should strike the nations. And He Himself will rule them with a rod of iron. He Himself treads the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. And He has on His robe and on His thigh a name written:

    KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS. – Revelation 19:11-16

    Pitiful Elvis died a drugged out, used up, constipated, overweight rock and roll singer who can’t come back. Why compare the two?
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  6. GotMovesLikeJagger
    November 9th, 2011 at 11:22 | #6

    Thanks for sharing Evil Eye.I can’t stop laughing…
    References :

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